Today I decided the time had come to begin working in my parent's garden. This garden does not belong to me per say, yet through my labors today many lessons about myself and the work that I (with the help of God) am trying to accomplish in my heart were revealed to me.
When I was 15 or so my father and I set about to build a wooden fence around our property in Florida. Around that time... well... let's say I wasn't quite so enthusiastic about yard work (especially when there seemed no direct benefit in sight for me). I already took care of the lawn and various arranged plants, so the prospect of digging the 26 or so post holes had no appeal to me.
I did it anyway. I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
The soil was pretty loose (Florida soil is mostly sandy) and came out of the top relatively easy as I stabbed into it with the pole digger. But when I started getting near the depth required (about 2 feet), most of the dirt would fall back in and I would get frustrated and complain a little to myself: wishing that it wasn't so hard or thinking of what fun activity I COULD be enjoying instead of digging these uncooperative holes.
In a few days the process was over, with every hole the proper depth and width, and I was free to do as I pleased until the next bit of landscaping project my parents had for me. I didn't realize then how easy I had it... at least not until I began in the garden today…
Before I began my work, I looked over the large garden plot thinking, “Yeah, I could get a good amount of this done today. It’s not so bad.” I grabbed the bow rake and pounded its teeth to the dirt, expecting the soil to give way as I pulled. To my disbelief, it had hardly penetrated the soil. I pounded and pulled over and over, but each time the teeth did not sink in more than an inch, and the weeds held tenaciously to the un-movable dirt like barnacles on a ship.
As I continued working the soil inch by inch, pulling the weeds as I gained ground, I thought about my life. At first glance, striving for improvement on my own never seemed to get anywhere; and when I tried to reach out to others for help, all they seemed to do was point me back to what I had started by myself. For some time I considered myself “good enough” and put my efforts into hobbies, games, work, and building my social life: all without real consideration of what God’s desires were for me. After living this way for years, I imagined the soil of my heart could be compared to the rocky, indestructible soil between my feet.
Bad habits in speech, thought, and action could be compared to the weeds whose thick roots penetrated deep and over wide spaces. They were everywhere. The whole plot, which had once been well tilled, teemed with them. Only the strawberry plants managed to keep a foothold, but they held very little earth.
At this thought I put my back into the labor all the more, hoping that through this adversity I could still succeed to clear a good portion of the land. After some time I looked down at my hands. Every knuckle glowed red, and though my palms were covered with dirt, they were sure to be calloused. After weeding and clearing a 5 x 5 foot area, I looked back at the rest of the plot. It now seemed to stretch for miles. I didn’t understand it when a little voice in me said, ‘That is enough for today.’
“NO!” I cried, “There is so much more to be done, and I feel I have not done anything at all!”
‘The bramble’s work of years cannot be changed in a day, nor can the eternal soil be prepared in a day by human hands.’
I pondered that reply. Recovering from illness as I was, I knew that I could not accomplish much more in the garden at the time. However, the words also rang clear in my life experience. God doesn’t snap His fingers and make us sinless and pure. That isn’t how He operates. God works at the stony soil of our hearts inch by inch, pulling up our little faults and revealing the roots of the sins we have long cherished. Day by day he reveals to us more about ourselves, and continues to ask, “Will you surrender this to Me today?” As we do, he pulls it up, and moves on to the next, removing the smaller roots along the way.
God has the power to change us. We need to be softened and subdued by His hands, daily allowing Him to root up all selfishness and bitterness and pride that pollute the soil where much fruit could be born. It is my prayer that we become workers with Him in this course, so that we may be strengthened to work in His fields near and abroad.
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